a simple wish

I wish I was like my morning coffee
bold
and energized
and widely loved
an acquired taste
but despite the many forms
and variations
always still
myself

this side of hope

they say to err on the side of caution,
but I want to err on the side of hope.
does that make me naïve?
does that make me a dreamer?
is that really such a bad thing?
we are made to dream,
after all,
and we are made to hope,
for those are the only two things
that really keep us alive.

living and dying

I think the
strangest dichotomy
is that while
you are doing
everything you can
to make sure
you are living
you are also
dying

bravery

what is the difference
between being brave
and being foolish?

math

I mapped it out
I measured
and schemed
and calculated
the tiniest details
to a tee
but what I failed
to see
is that
I am not
a mathematician

concentric circles

how many versions of yourself
have you created?
how many footprints have you
left on other peoples’ hearts
with variations of your soul
that no longer exist?
I have killed myself a hundred times,
but will I kill myself a hundred more?
is there a shape that I’m supposed to take?
a final version of myself that I am working towards,
or am I living inside concentric circles,
shedding layer after layer
of my exoskeleton?
one by one the layers fall,
and the more I think,
and the more I love,
I begin to realize that I haven’t killed myself at all.

like a snake shedding its skin,
I have removed the dead pieces of me,
but underneath my very core,
my same heart still beats.

poetry

if you look hard enough
you can find poetry
in the strangest of places
in the cobwebs that hang
in the forgotten corners of your room
in the microscopic particles of dust
that float through the air
in every single shade of blue
and in every tiny inch of you

sunrise in the rearview

I watched the sunrise
in my rearview mirror
the edge of the skyline
turning orange
and red
and peony pink
and I couldn’t help but think
that even with
those colors within reach
I was still chasing darkness

wonder

I am a wanderer
but also a wonderer
I wander
where I wonder
and I wonder
where I wander
and I am lost
where I am found
and I am found
where I am lost
a walking contradiction
but I wonder
at what cost